


The Elephant in the Room

by Hockey_babaayy



Series: Elephant [1]
Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Heartbreak, M/M, Mental Illness, Recovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-28
Updated: 2013-10-28
Packaged: 2017-12-30 17:22:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1021366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hockey_babaayy/pseuds/Hockey_babaayy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There is an elephant in the room, and it's Patrick Kane.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Elephant in the Room

**Author's Note:**

> Okay wow so this is my first piece of work ever for this fandom. 
> 
> I feel horrible for doing this because I hate reading this sort of thing, but the idea came into my head and I just couldn't help myself so if you hate me I understand.
> 
> Also I didn't reread or proofread so if there are any errors I apologize.
> 
> Please feel free to leave comments and feedback because that would be nothing but helpful and I would appreciate it greatly.
> 
> Thanks for reading!!

It was a beautiful sunny morning in Chicago.  It was not too warm, and yet not too cold on this early summer day.  Jonny was just getting back from a run when his phone rang.  He was doing what he could to keep in shape over the summer months and even though the Blackhawks’ season had just ended he did not want to waste any time.

He was a bit irritated that Patrick didn’t come home last night.  He must’ve gone back to his own place after their argument.  Jonny hates having to sleep in an empty bed, and usually he would just be waking up, starting breakfast for Jonny, just the way he liked.

He answered the call as he was walking into his condo, dropping the newspaper he was carrying immediately as he received the news.

\--

Jonny had never liked hospitals.  They were always way too clean and way too white.  They had a horrible smell and horrible news to give.  Anxiety flooded him as he sat and waited outside of the room, his foot tapping involuntarily.

He ran a hand through his hair, still damp with sweat.  He crushed his now empty cup of coffee and threw it in the trash bin closest to him.

There had been an accident.  It was a drunk driver that blew through a red light and hit Patrick’s driver-side door.  It was a miracle that Patrick was wearing his seatbelt otherwise he definitely wouldn’t have made it.

A few of their teammates sat beside him.  Sharpy was staring at the tiles on the floor, Seabs was sitting with red-rimmed eyes, biting his fingers while Duncs rubbed his back soothingly.  Shawzy was pacing back and forth while Saad just leaned against the wall, staring off into space.

Eventually a doctor stepped out of the room and all of the attention was instantly focused on him.  Jonny could only hear the sound of his heartbeat as he read the words “I’m sorry…”

\--

Patrick’s family flew in from Buffalo and could spend no more than 10 minutes inside the hospital.  Seeing Patrick in such a state was too much to bear. 

When Donna saw Jonny at his apartment she pulled him into a hug and whispered, “I’m so sorry, baby.  I am so sorry.”  Tears were streaming down her face and soaking into Jonny’s shirt as he just stroked her hair and tried to hush her.

He made her coffee while Donna went into his room.  He found her crying into an old shirt that Pat used to wear.

Jonny just rubbed her back and told her, “It’s okay, he’ll be back home before you know it.  It’ll be alright.”

Donna just looked up at him with nothing but heartbreak in her eyes.  She stood and left with the shirt still in her hand, leaving her coffee untouched.

\--

Jonny was rushing around the apartment, trying to make everything spotless.  After all today was the big day, the day that Patrick was able to come home.  His heart was racing with excitement.  It had been too long since he had been home and Jonny could not wait to see him, to hold him, to touch him and to be able to enjoy his presence.

Patrick had been badly injured in the crash, which is why the doctor had been sorry.  He knew how badly Jonny had wanted to see him. 

It had been a frustrating time without having Patrick around.  Jonny hated sleeping by himself.  He was a little surprised that their teammates declined Jonny’s invitation to greet Patrick but he figured they knew how badly Jonny had wanted his alone time with Pat first.

Jonny had finished cleaning and was sitting on the couch; he had always been an impatient person. 

Finally, there was a knock at the door, and Jonny all but flew to it to answer it.  There he was, his Patrick.  Jonny smiled so hard he felt like his face would split in two.

Patrick’s left temple had a large bandage on it and there was a deep cut that had been stitched up on his cheek.  He had a broken arm and a few small scratches.  Jonny wrapped his arms around him and dug his face into Pat’s neck.

“Welcome home, baby.  I missed you,” Jonny whispered as he placed a small kiss on Pat’s neck.

“I missed you too,” Patrick responded with a kiss on Jonny’s head as he squeezed him back.  Tears began to well up in Jonny’s eyes as he stood back to let Patrick in.  He limped to the couch and fell back with a sigh.

“It’s good to be home,” Pat smiled, his eyes closed almost as if he was letting everything soak in.  He was finally back home after such a close call.  Jonny’s heart swelled as he sat down next to Patrick and leaned into him.  He enjoyed the way Pat’s arms rested on him and the way Pat played with his hair.  Jonny closed his eyes and let himself finally relax. 

Patrick was back at home, safe.  Nothing could make him feel any better than the way he does right now.

\--

Not wanting to cause him any more pain, the two hardly did much.  They rarely left Jon’s apartment except for on the rare occasions that they would go to Pat’s place to grab more of his stuff.  Patrick’s doorman always let them in with a sympathetic face even though Patrick was feeling better and better every day.

Their teammates would stop by every now and then to come check up and see how they were doing.

“Cheer up,” Jonny would say to their morose faces, “he’s doing fine, just look at him!”

This would lead to a sad nod and a lame excuse to leave.  Jonny didn’t understand why the guys were being such dicks seeing as Patrick has been through enough lately.  The last thing he needed was to be made an outsider from the guys that have always been like brothers to him.

Usually when Jonny would say this Patrick would just rub his back and suggest they watched a movie.

Sitting there Jonny would examine all of Patrick’s wounds.

“Did it hurt?”

“I don’t really remember much of it, all I remember is waking up in the hospital and wondering what happened.”

“They wouldn’t let me see you, I’m so sorry,” Jonny would cry and Patrick would wipe his tears and kiss him softly.

“It’s okay, it wasn’t your fault,” Patrick would say so quietly you would miss it if you weren’t paying close attention.

“I love you so much.”

“I love you too, Jonny.  More than you’ll ever know,” and with that, Jonny would fall asleep.  “I’ll never leave you, Jon.  Never.”

\--

Things stayed pretty calm with them the next couple of weeks.  They would typically just watch movies and lay around the house but on other days they would go grocery shopping or even go on walks through the park.

“I feel like we should hang out with some of the guys,” Jon said one night as they were eating pizza on the couch.  “I get the feeling that they’re avoiding us.”

It was true, the team had only stopped by a few times since Pat’s been home and they’ve never stayed long.  Some of them had even had interviews that neither Jonny nor Patrick were invited to.  Jonny had caught a few of them on TV and he couldn’t help but noticed their sorry-looking faces as they answered each question hesitantly and quietly.

Suddenly, Jonny felt the urge to call Sharpy and demand what the hell the problem was.  Patrick may not have been perfectly healthy but that doesn’t mean he should be left out.

“Hello?” Sharpy’s voice came on the line.

“Hey Sharpy,” Jonny said, suddenly feeling awkward.  He hadn’t properly spoken to Sharpy in quite some time, “how’ve you been?”

“How do you think I am?” Sharpy suddenly snapped.  “You know how close I was and you’ve been so distant lately.  It’s like you think this is a joke!  I knew you would take this hard but this is really too much right now, Jon.”

Jonny was confused beyond explanation, “What would I be taking hard?  Kaner’s accident?  I was but he’s fine now and you would know that if you would actually stop by and spend some time with us!”

Sharpy made a choking noise but then hoarsely responded, “I think we need to talk in person, Jon.  You should come over soon so we can discuss this.”

“Well right now we’re watching a movie but we can be over first thing in the morning, yeah?” Jonathan suggested.

“Yeah, that works.  Goodnight Jon,”  Sharpy’s voice cracked as he hung up the phone and Jonny just looked questioningly over at the man sitting next to him.

Patrick just shrugged and leaned in close to Jon.

\--

Patrick and Jon showed up to Sharpy’s at around ten o’clock the next morning.  Patrick stayed behind Jonny the entire way up to the house.

When Sharpy greeted them, they walked inside and Patrick went straight to the bathroom.  Jonny made his way into the living room where he saw the entire team, the coaches, and their management all crowded around and looking sadly at Jon.

“What’s going on?” Jonny said with worry as all kinds of possibilities rushed through his head.

“We’re concerned about you, Jonathan,” Coach Q said with a frown on his face.

“Why, what’s wrong?” The sinking feeling in Jon’s stomach only got worse with every passing second.

“You’re sick, Jon,” Sharpy said hoarsely as tears began to run down his face.

Now Jon was nothing but confused, “What the hell?” He furrowed his brow and glared at everyone in the room.

Stan decided to speak up at this point, “We knew this would be the hardest on you, and let’s be honest.  You haven’t taken this well at all.”  Shawzy let out a whimper and hid his face in his hands from his place on the sofa.

Rage filled Jonny almost instantly, “Does someone want to actually say what the fucking problem is or are you all just going to beat around the bush?  What the fuck is going on?”

“Jonathan,” Duncan spoke up, “Pat’s dead.”  His voice cracked as soon as he said the word and everything in the room began to spin for Jonathan.

“W-what?” He weakly let out, “Did you guys not see him walk in?  He went to the bathroom,”  He made his way down the hall to the bathroom.

“Patrick come on, get out here, “Jonny knocked on the door.  When he didn’t get an answer he opened the door and saw it was empty.

It was as if in that moment everything became clear to Jonathan.

 

_“I’m sorry,” the doctor said, “we did everything we could but there was too much internal bleeding, we couldn’t stop it.  A nurse will be with you shortly, but I am sorry for your loss”_

_“No, no this isn’t happening, this isn’t happening!” Seabs cracked out as he visibly deflated and slid to the floor.  Duncs began to shake uncontrollably while Shawzy began to scream.  Sharpy just started to cry and was pulled into a hug by an already-sobbing Saad._

_All the while Jonathan stood there, still as stone.  He remained absolutely calm.  There was no way Patrick could have been dead, he didn’t believe it.  That was his Patrick, the indestructible SuperKane.  This was all just some sort of joke, because there was absolutely nothing wrong with Pat.  Jonathan knew it, there had been a mistake._

_Jonathan had left the hospital without saying a word.  He had went home and began waiting for his Patrick to return, he always came home.  This couldn’t be real because if Patrick was really gone then Jonathan would have nothing.  His world would be shattered and there would be nothing for him anymore.  Pat was fine, he’s always fine._

_When Jonathan would go play his videogames he would always select two player even though it was just him._

_“You promised,” he’d mutter, “you promised you’d never leave me.”_

 

Thinking about it now, Patrick had kept his promise.  He had never really left Jon once. 

Jon had to reach out and grab Sharpy’s shoulder to steady himself as he shut his eyes against the empty bathroom.  Tears immediately began running down his face.

“He promised,” Jonny muttered.

“Jon?” Sharpy questioned.

“He promised he would never leave me,” Jonny raised his voice, making everyone around him flinch in response.

“He promised!  Now he’s gone!  He promise, he said…he said he would never leave me and now he’s gone!”  Jonathan screamed and everyone jumped back, startled.

He sobbed uncontrollably and fell to the floor.

“Call an ambulance,” Rocky requested, sadly.

Jonathan remained on the floor until the paramedics came to take him away.  Each teammate cried in response to their broken captain and the loss of not only one, but two friends.

\--

It took five months in rehab before Jonathan spoke a word to anybody, and after he was released it took him another seven to go visit the grave.

When he found in he sat down and pressed his cheek against the cool headstone.  Tears ran down his face freely as he ran his fingers across the words.  He couldn’t believe Patrick was really gone.

“I miss you,” he whispered.

After he left he felt much better, and decided it was time to go see Pat’s family.  When Donna opened the door Jonathan pulled her into a hug instantly and began to apologize, both of them crying for their loss.

Jonathan hadn’t spoken to any of his teammates in over a year.  He read and heard all about them.

Saad was nothing but a partier anymore, and nobody hears from Shawzy who retired shortly after Jonathan was taken in.

Seabs has been in and out of rehab for popping pills and using.  Duncan and Sharpy still play hockey but neither are anywhere near where they used to be.

With Patrick gone, the world has seemed to fall apart in its own little way.  Nothing is the same anymore without him here.

When Jonny lays down at night he always feels the empty space beside him.

“I miss you, but you’re here,” Jonny whispers into the darkness and if he focuses hard enough, he can remember what it feels like to have Patrick wrap his arms around him after a bad day.

_“I’ll always be here, I promised.”_


End file.
